


Thor: The Dark World Meanderings

by Khanada



Series: Marvel Meanderings [8]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-27
Updated: 2018-11-27
Packaged: 2019-09-01 10:48:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16763653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Khanada/pseuds/Khanada
Summary: A long time ago (in a galaxy not so far away) I came across an internet site called the Fringedweller’s Guide, which sadly appears to have been swallowed up by a black hole. It offered an often very amusing running commentary on Stargate episodes (among other things) and appeared to be made up of the musings/thoughts triggered by events/dialogue in each episode. I thought I would offer something along those lines for the MCU.As ever, I suggest you watch the movie before reading this … and then while reading this.Potential mild spoilers for other MCU films. I try to avoid anything plot related but lines of dialogue from other movies do pop up and there are some call backs to previous Meanderings.Thor: The Dark World … AKA Marmite number 2. Suggested alternate titles “Some more of Odin’s greatest blunders (and lies)”, “Parenting done wrong”, “Loki: Redemption begins”.





	Thor: The Dark World Meanderings

“Long before the birth of light, there was darkness” No. Really??? (Although, how would you know it was ‘darkness’ if you didn’t have light to contrast it against?)

Doesn’t make sense. You’ve gone from darkness to dark elves and then said they wanted to transform it back into “eternal night” Completely missed out the part when light came along, so, as far as anyone paying attention would think, the universe was still in darkness.

Ooh! Christopher Eccleston. Oh look! It's another Brit playing a bad guy!

I wonder what the Aether will turn out to be!

King Bor, was he boring? (sorry, couldn’t resist!)

Well I’m sure the transforming thing’s not going to be relevant later!

I’ve never understood this. Why does losing the Aether make them suddenly lose? It’s not like they were actually using it.

Odin’s a lying liar who lies!

Oooh they buried it in the word “Thor” clearly!

Yay! Loki! Let’s see what his character’s written like this time. 

“Hello mother, have I made you proud?” Hee!

“Define worse” I think you’ll find out!

“I will speak to the prisoner alone” Oh that’s nice, he’s your son (supposedly)!

“We are not gods. We are born. We live. We die” “Give or take 5000 years” Is that all?

“Your birthright was to die” Well yes, he was abandoned. But Odin that is NOT what you brought him up believing (Does “You were born to be king” ring a bell?)

“I don’t love them” Love his honesty!

“You’ll make that witless oaf king?” Hee! Good description of Thor.

Warriors 3, warrioring.

What does happen if the Bifrost lands right on top of you?

“I’ve got this completely under control!” “Is that why everything’s on fire?” Sounds like inner dialogue right there!

It’s Korg!!!! (It isn’t – but how funny would that have been?)

“I accept your surrender” Hee.

Poor not-Korg.

“Anyone else” Hee!

“Perhaps next time we should start with the big one” I’m sure if the ‘big one’ had been there at the start, you would’ve.

Oh that’s Fandral!? Right. He’s had a face-change! (Damn! I can’t sing “Prince Charming" any more)

Oh okay. So the Bifrost can land on you without killing you. So, what happened to the dude they were fighting that got caught by it earlier?

I really just do not feel that bridge is safe without railings!

Odin and his crows … little bit of mythology for you.

“a piece of bread that needs to be buttered” I was just thinking of a slightly cruder expression along those lines!

Being in love is out of order???? Well Odin’s not fit to rule then given his love for Frigga distracts him … oh wait.

“You’d be better served by what lies in front of you” (gesturing towards Sif). (Takes a deep breath and reminds self that Odin is an outdated god/”old man and a fool” Of course he’s sexist.) “served”???? REALLY???

Gratuitous topless Thor.

Happy celebrating scene!

Oh yes. War is so much fun.

She’s jealous!!! (Not sure why. She’s far cooler than Dr Foster!)

Yay! London! Looking good London! 

Sigh! The Shard.

How has she not thrown Darcy out?

You mean banging it isn’t scientific?

“Maybe you should stop saying sea bass and go after your friend” You've just had a lucky escape! I bet she didn't put "running people over" or "giving people food poisoning with dodgy crockery habits" on her dating profile!!!

Stonehenge!

You can’t walk among the stones. They’ve put barriers up – sadly!

Poor Ian!

“I am not getting stabbed in the name of science.” Very wise.

Do they LOOK like the Police?

What do you mean it doesn’t seem right? You mean trucks don’t usually do pirouettes in mid air?

What is her obsession with shoes?

Oh yes – very sensible throwing the keys. What a surprise that they don’t come back!

That’s right, walk towards the scary dark corridor. So, she hasn’t gained a self preservation instinct yet I see.

That’s right – stare at the weird glowy thing.

Do you think that shrieky noise was it saying “What are you looking at?”

Well that’s not ominous at all! Ship turning on all by itself.

Yay! Christopher Eccleston.

Yay!!!! Heimdall.

“How fare the stars” ‘Same as always’.

“I can’t see her” Why not? Okay – she’s not on Earth but she’s gone somewhere!

And back to Earth.

Thunderstorm – wonder why that’s come up!

And NOW they notice they’re not getting wet.

No not weird at all! I always have a circle of dryness around me when it’s raining (oh wait – that’s an umbrella).

At least she could be honest about why she’s slapping him!

“As excuses go, not terrible” What do you flipping want lady? He’s the heir to throne of Asgard for goodness sake!! He’s got responsibilities!

“I know” “You do” “Do what” ‘Remind me of the babe’ (oops wrong film – sorry!)

“He’s my intern. My intern’s intern” Hee!

Well at least that officer has enough self preservation instinct to not touch the woman that just blew his colleague halfway across the other side of the site.

What would happen if he accidentally let go of her in the Bifrost?

Heimdall dodging the metal because he’s too cool!

“I can barely remember a time before the light” Well, in fairness, it was a LONG time ago!!!

God she’s cocky!!!

“She does not belong here in Asgard any more than a goat belongs at a banquet table” Hee! Harsh!!! But funny.

“Who do you think you are?” “I am Odin. King of Asgard. Protector of the Nine Realms.” “Oh!” Ummm yup!!

Well that got Odin’s attention!

“While the other relics often appear as stones …” Ha – I wonder what the Aether will turn out to be!

Odin’s a lying liar who lies!!!

Pretty ship!

And here come the Warriors 3.

With a load of prisoners.

And a plus 1.

Loki!!!

Do the guards not see her? Do they just see him talking to himself? Do they not care?

“I was merely giving truth to the lie that I had been fed my entire life” (by the lying liar who lies) EXACTLY!!!! IT’S ALL ODIN’S FAULT!!!!

“A mere handful compared to the number that Odin has taken himself” YUP!!!!

So. Loki’s characterisation in this one then. Back to not being all out evil. Bit more like the character from the myths (before Christianity distorted it). Bit more like the character in the first film. The more I think about it, the more I can’t think of a single bit of characterisation in Avengers Assemble I was actually happy with.

Hee. Apparently, when they were shooting that, there was a time when Tom Hiddleston missed and the cup hit him. Wish they’d used that take! Taika Waititi probably would’ve!

Oh look – there’s the transforming thing from earlier.

“You might want to take the stairs to the left” Oh you’re going to regret that!

“The prisons” “Loki” actually nope. He’s still sitting in his cell like a good little boy, quietly reading (Hee!)

“You’ve never been a very good liar” LOL! Ummm – What does that say given how MUCH he lies!!!

Does that count as passing the Bechdel test?

Oh Heimdall’s too cool!!! That ship didn’t stand a chance really!

That is a big ship!!!

Oh they’re just showing off! Flying between the buildings like that.

Big air battle. Is big.

And that shield/bubble thing looks awesome! But does not appear to protect the entire city! But hey! As long as Odin’s house is alright!

Oh what a shame. Shield’s down. The palace will have to take its chances with the rest of the people.

I think you missed a column (oh no – that’s later).

And there’s that MCU lack of self preservation instinct – again

Okay that weapon’s freaky!!!! And the sound effects are disturbing!

Slow mo walk out! Must be a bad guy. (Well of course he is; he's being played by a Brit!)

Destroy the throne? Bit petty isn’t it? What’s that seat ever done to you?

Hee – never noticed that before. The shot of Loki’s cell immediately after the seat goes bye bye, you hear an Einherjar in the background saying “The throne of Asgard is destroyed. To the King”. It’s funny the extra little bits you pick up with subtitles.

Frigga’s cool.

Sob!

Too little, too late Thor!

I remember loving the funeral scene in the cinema. The music with the floating lights in 3D is especially moving. Although, I did wonder what happened to the boat after it fell off the edge. Is it still falling through space (would it continue to burn without atmosphere?)

Nice of them to tell Loki (could’ve done it before the funeral though!)

Yay! Stan Lee cameo!

Why does he need his strength to reclaim the Aether? Does it not come to weaklings?

So, is the Aether sentient?

“His men will fall on 10,000 Asgardian blades.” ‘Yes, because you killed so many of them last time and yet, oh that’s right. They killed the queen and got away.’

“As many as are needed” Oh that is NOT the right attitude!

“Then how are you different from Malekith?” That is a VERY good question!

“The difference, my son, is that I will win” Ummm, no you won’t! Yup “old man and a fool” Thor’s estimation of him in the first film was not wrong.

“What’s SHIELD” “It’s a secret” Then why are you talking about it?

What are police still refusing to confirm????

“No one is to come or to go” Great – so EVERYONE including those who are unable to fight are expected to just sit there and get picked off by an invisible enemy – brilliant ruling there Odin!

Hee! Loki has his uses!

How come Thor can see through his illusion here but couldn’t in the last 2 films and can’t tell when he’s actually there or not in Ragnarok?

“Did she suffer?” ‘No, she just died horribly at the hands of the monster you helped to get into the palace!’ Body language says Loki realises his part in it. He looks far too pale in that light!

“You betray me and I will kill you” and yet he doesn’t in Ragnarok … funny that.

“When do we start?” ‘We just did’ (oops wrong film – and it’s not even in that film – only the trailer)

How is turning Thor into Sif while turning himself back to look like himself ‘less conspicuous’? Surely ‘less conspicuous’ would be Thor looking like Sif while he looks like the Einherjar?

Right because no one’s going to ask how Captain America has somehow magically appeared in Asgard when no one’s allowed in or out? Do love Chris Evan’s impression of Tom Hiddleston doing an impression of him though! Brilliant!!!

“Hey, do you want to have a rousing discussion about truth? Honour? Patriotism?” LOL!!!

“At last. A little common sense” Indeed!

Hee! That face!!!

That’s right. Get the jealous warrior to rescue your girlfriend!

God she’s rude!!

“Stop Thor. By any means necessary” Great – so if it’s necessary to kill him, then what??? Oh yeah! Dad of the flipping Year right there!!! (Oh that’s right – the award didn’t get to him because the Bifrost was broken at the time that it was sent.)

“Betray him and I’ll kill you” Loki’s reaction! He’s not even worried.

Why is Volstagg saying “Mortal” like it’s a dirty word? Aren’t they also “Mortal”? Isn’t that what Odin was saying earlier?

“If you even think about betraying him…” “You’ll kill me? Evidently, there will be a line.” LOL Loki really is enjoying himself far too much!

“I think you missed a column” LOL!!!!

Loki does have all the best lines in this film!

“Well done. You just decapitated your grandfather” LOL!!!

“You lied to me. I’m impressed” Love it!

“Ta-Dah” (falls on the floor crying with laughter)

Oh Look! Thor was right to take Jane elsewhere.

Did they never clean that planet up in all those millennia?

“She’s holding up alright. For now” That’s a point actually. How IS she holding up alright given what’s inside her?

She’s not that strong Thor!

Oh that age-old thing of beings with extended lives outliving humans.

“Surrender’s not in mine” So what are you going to do Thor? Fight death? What has surrendering got to do with someone outliving someone else?

Not just of Odin – Oh that’s nice. Thor shows he’s a mummy’s boy too.

“Trust? When you let her die?” Who is he really yelling at here? Thor for not getting there in time, or himself for helping Kurse?

“What help were you in your cell” Right because Loki decided to go and live there …

“you know damn well who!” Yes – Odin – for feeding him all that ‘born to rule’ bull, having a clear favourite and generally speaking just being a TERRIBLE father!

“She wouldn’t want us to fight” I really do just totally buy these 2 as brothers!

“Trust my rage” Okay.

That man actually believed them???

Another man who needs a hug!

He’s downing medicine. He’s clearly not alright.

Seriously Darcy?? Look what you do for a living and you call someone a nerd for remembering something his dad told him???! 

“Look” ‘They’re flocking’ ‘I think they’re flocking this way’ (oops wrong film)

“There’s nothing more reassuring than realising that the world is crazier than you are” Very true!

Can you imagine if someone found all those pills in that bin?

That’s really pretty! I need to go to Iceland!

Never been clear on how much of this was the plan or whether Loki turned on him at this point.

Also not clear, what’s illusion and what isn’t. Does he hide Thor’s hand or does he actually chop it off and then make it magically grow back later?

Speaking of – that’s the second hand to be lost in Phase 2!!

“I am Loki of Jotunheim” No you’re not dear! Haven’t been since you were a baby! Nice misdirect though!

Also. Does Jane know the plan?

How do the Dark Elves speak English? Thought they’d been asleep for millennia?

Really gorgeous graphics here! Very impressive in 3D.

What had happened to Mjolnir throughout that scene? Was it frozen somewhere waiting for his hand to grow back?

Loki rushing to protect Jane and shield her with his own body – because he’s a good guy really.

And of course it didn’t work!!! 

Oh Loki! Prepared to sacrifice yourself for the ‘mortal’ who slapped you. You see? Good guy!

Okay – seriously – how outnumbered are Thor and Loki here? 

Oooooh! Bad guy knocking Mjolnir out of the way. Why hasn’t someone done that before?

Loki now prepared to sacrifice himself for his brother!

Sob!

I can never unsee the eyeballs falling out now! Gross!

Sob!

“I didn’t do it for him” – Did he do it for Thor then?

Okay. Nice emotional scene – but the preceding sequence just doesn’t hold up under scrutiny. What was the plan and what wasn’t? What was illusion and what wasn’t? Did he actually get impaled at all? If not – how not? Because Kurse is still dead so …

Well that’s a fortunate coincidence, phone going off just then.

So he didn’t sit there and say sea bass on his own?

Oh look, there are the keys. Well that’s lucky isn’t it?

“Why are there so many shoes in here?” LOL! Were they all Darcy?

They police hadn’t towed the car???? Really???

“You can’t just leave like that” Right – because she had a choice in the matter.

Thor hanging up Mjolnir on the coat rack!

“Are you well, Erik?” Love the concern and uncertainty in his voice!

“Your brother’s not coming, is he?” Okay, I can understand why Erik would be concerned about that but to then say “Oh, thank God!” in response to learning he’s died – to the guy’s brother!!! Bit insensitive.

At least he makes up for it with a hug though.

Yeah! That flash of green – that’s no Einherjar!

“We found a body” “Loki” Okay. Has Odin seen through the disguise or does he think Loki’s dead?

Exposition scene in the standard people sitting round talking method.

Why Greenwich??? Is it because it’s where the Prime Meridian runs through? Except – that was just created by man as a means of measuring time. The Prime Meridian could’ve been anywhere. 

“I better get my pants” Might be an idea! Might get a few looks otherwise.

Lovely! Really beautiful shot of the Old Royal Naval College!!! Very impressive buildings! Should probably be grateful they chose to have the showdown there rather than the even more obvious (and literally just up the hill) Royal Observatory (right on the visible line).

I love Greenwich! It’s beautiful!

Someone saying shh in a library – not a cliché at all!!!

Damn aliens destroying London landmark! Very good special effects though.

Beautiful shot of the city behind the ship.

I really appreciate it when they show London’s beauty in these films (rather than slagging it off like DC does in Wonder Woman)!

Why are the other Elves just hanging back? Surely it would be more important to them to get Thor out of the way so they can do their thing?

I’d probably make Darcy disappear too.

Ian screams like a girl!

Yes, very sensible running to the windows to watch aliens fighting. These people are clearly lacking in self-preservation instincts too (like everyone else in the MCU).

“He’s waving his hammer around and everything!” LOL! Oh honey – at least you’ll die happy that you saw that – when something inevitably blows all the windows in.

Oh look, windows getting blown in. Didn’t see that one coming. Oh wait! I did.

I like to call this sequence “How many London landmarks can we fit in”.

St Pauls Cathedral, Tower Bridge, The Gherkin, Millennium Dome and Canary Wharf/The City. 

“Confirmed, ship is hostile” No shit. Sherlock!

Oh come on – that was NEVER going to work!

What’s all the black stuff?

Yay! Jotunheim!

Hee! Shouldn’t laugh but that elf had it coming.

LOL! Who knew Ian was Superman!?

Oops – that’s inconvenient timing.

Hee. Poor Ian.

“Jane!” “Ian?” “Selvig?” ”Mjolnir!” LOL!!! Nice staccato exclamations.

Okay. If that train is Northern line. Three stops is going to take him to Kennington (presuming it’s Southbound). If it’s the Bakerloo line, it’ll take him to Lambeth North (if it’s Southbound). If it’s Northbound he ends up in either Goodge Street or Regent’s Park – None of which are Greenwich! You’re giving Londoners a bad name, dear!!!

“We’re out of time” No shit. Sherlock! What gave it away?

Yeah, he REALLY shouldn’t have got back to Greenwich so fast from Charing Cross!!!! Even if he’d actually been given the correct directions, Charing Cross to Greenwich by public transport takes a minimum of approximately half an hour – and he did it in less than 8 minutes.

Oh look! It’s another arm!

“The Aether cannot be destroyed.” I wonder why!

How could she see to twist the dial at that moment?

Very sensible running towards the collapsing spaceship.

And the Darwin Award goes to….

Yay Eric!

Wonder what happened to Darcy and Ian – did they remain a couple?

Shreddies!!! Yum (haven’t had those in ages – now need to go and buy some!)

“He kinda committed treason on our way out….” No kind of about it!

Okay. Given what we will find out in a few moments about who’s actually talking. How did he know what Thor said to Odin?

Nice that he’s offering Thor the throne. I wonder what he would’ve said if Thor had taken it.

“Loki … understood rule as I know I never will.” Yes! He does!!!

“I’d rather be a good man than a great king” Calls to mind the line about being a good man not a perfect soldier.

“When you speak, do I never hear Mother’s voice?” Oh well said!

It is so funny watching this scene back knowing who’s actually sitting in that chair. All the little glances suddenly have new meaning!

“It belongs to you” ‘because I can’t lift it’ I wonder if might actually have been able to at this point after the events of the film though.

“If I were proud of the man my son had become, even that I could not say. It would speak only from my heart” Okay. That is actually a really, really beautiful and kind thing to say!!

“No. Thank you” Brilliant!!!!

Freaky man! I’m sure he’s not going to show up again (despite being Benicio del Toro).

“It’s not wise to keep 2 Infinity Stones so close together” First of all – oh what a surprise. Didn’t see that coming. Secondly, Is this the first reference to the Infinity Stones in the MCU?

“One down. Five to go” That’s not ominous at all!

I love that monster running around chasing birds like a kitten. So sweet! I wonder what happened to him!


End file.
